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Posted by / 04-Dec-2017 05:56

Failing that, tell a professional or even that coworker who has gently taken an interest in you or expressed concern. This protects you from knee-jerking into another situation that you may not recognise as being unsuitable and unavailable due to craving some sort of emotional replacement – there is no progress in ditching a married man for another emotionally unavailable man. Exploring the reasons that contributed to your desire to be in this relationship will also ensure that you ‘re able to gain a fresh perspective, heal and move forward.

The latter is how many readers have exited not just from affairs but also from abusive relationships. There is also no point in dating if it’s a way of passing time in the hope of filling in the gap until the married guy potentially becomes available. There is no quick fix and the right decision doesn’t always feel good initially. Weather the storm, cold turkey it out and let out the tears and frustration but don’t give in. Also check out the in the downloads section – the former will help you to identify and transform unhealthy beliefs and the latter will help you to explore your feelings and address current and old anger that may be affecting your decision to be in the affair or keeping you stuck in it. Address other areas of your life that have suffered whilst you were with him.

Be honest with you about what you’re trying to achieve. If you really do want to break up with him and you are sick of the situation, he shouldn’t be able to wheedle his way around you. Yes, you are breaking up because he can’t give you what you need, want and deserve, , you’re also breaking up with him because YOU are better than this. Yes you may be conditioned to think that the crumbs are enough for you, but the reality is that a healthy relationship with a man that is only with you and puts you at the centre of his life, feels far different to the flimsy ‘relationship’ that you’re in now. Think of the woman he’s with, the woman that you view as the person who is robbing you of the opportunity to be with your guy, as a human being with feelings and strengths and weaknesses just like you. Affairs and in fact, all dubious relationships rely on element of shame and secrecy and this compounds your dilemma.

The only time you should date is when you are truly ready to move on and Mr Married/Attached doesn’t figure any longer. No matter what you think, something or someone, or both, suffered while you focused your energies on your situation.

If you let work slide or put off career decisions, prioritise whatever it is, now.

Many BR readers have been or are in an affair situation and wonder, I hope that these fifteen tips can help to put any woman who is in this situation on the road to feeling happier, secure, and free to move on to healthier relationships.

Before you go down the breakup route, do have an honest conversation with you and ask: Is this a halfhearted cry for attention from him that I hope will force his hand into making the decision to be with me? This is how you lose credibility and open you up to more pain.

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