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"I take what's offered, I'm never down their throats about anything, and I very rarely raise a subject they mentioned once in another conversation." Plus, she respects her guys' conversational styles. A long discussion is 60 to 90 seconds." Many of the benefits parents reap at this stage result from the kids' more sharply honed communication skills.
Compared with their younger selves, emerging adults are more likely to talk things over with their parents and peaceably process disagreements.
But unless you notice behavior that's seriously disturbing, do your best to embrace the people your grown kids love.
And when they do settle on a partner, accept that it follows naturally for them to put that person first.
Parents still may be tempted to give unsolicited advice, do whatever's needed to protect kids from harm — and remind them to get car insurance.
And grown kids may be frustrating friends who don't return parents' calls, cancel dates at the last minute or text their buddies while dining with the family.
Suddenly kids are balking at coming home during their vacations or are no longer available for lengthy phone chats.
While it's natural to miss the former intimacy, it helps to understand their increased need for distance is appropriate for this stage of their lives and not to take it as a personal affront.
Maybe you wish that your son's girlfriend had fewer tattoos or that your daughter's boyfriend had a better job.
Here are five strategies to nurture the friendship during your kids' 20s and beyond: For emerging adults, keeping a privacy buffer is a crucial part of defining a separate identity, building confidence in making decisions, and learning to stand on their own.
Parents who have cherished a close relationship when their children were younger may feel hurt if they sense their grown kids pulling away.
If conflict does start to escalate, dial it down by listening to them without interrupting and then commenting in a neutral tone.
When that's not possible, taking a time-out for both sides to calm down is as useful at this stage as it was during their toddler years.
You may struggle with the want-to-fix-its, but if you jump in too quickly to unravel grown kids' dilemmas, their important problem-solving muscles won't have a chance to develop.